Living Or Just Existing.

Most often people mistake existence for living. We are mere spectators in this intriguing journey called life. We are onlookers, cheer givers and praise singers. We account for other people’s successes and achievements while we seat back and wait for the wind of fortune and bliss to come encapsulate and catapult us to a higher realm.
But things hardly turn out that way. This realization brings to mind Oscar Wilde’s popular quote “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people just exist, that’s all”. This is a resounding irony but it is sadly the truth. This then begs the questions; “what is living?” and “what is existing?”

According to Encarta dictionary to exist means;

I. To be, especially to be a real, actual, or current thing, not merely something written about.  

II. To be alive, or continue to live.

III. To occur; to be present or found in a particular place or situation.

From the above definitions what I get about existing is, the state of ‘Being’ that is a proof that you are not just a figment of imagination but that you are actually there, and that is all there is to it. Just like a signpost or a figure head.

Also according to the same Encarta dictionary to live has lot of meanings but of particular interest are;

I. To have life: to be alive.

II. To make a living.

III. To fully enjoy life.

These meanings tell clearly that to live is in contrast to just existing. In a nutshell one could say that to exist is being stagnant while to live is being progressive.

However a lot of people now confuse merely existing to living, largely due to misconceptions, twisted orientations, principles and ideologies. But ironically the first great principle that ought to occupy the attention of mankind is the principle of improvement, of exaltation, of adding to that which we already are and possess. Again one might ask “how do I exist instead of live and how do I live instead of exist?”

There are diverse ways one can exist and not live, but of the many, I will delve into these important two:

     

1. Making decisions based on what other people think; you exist when you pursue a career because it pays big while undermining your own passion and talent. To live therefore will be the opposite. Confucius says it best “choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day of your life” and he also said “The superior man understands what is best for him; the inferior man understands what will sell”. According to an article I read on a Face book page, a palliative nurse, working exclusively with people who are 3 to 12 months from death, made a habit of asking them about their greatest regrets, and she heard the same five regrets time and time again. But the most reoccurring regret is that they wish they had not made life’s choices based on what other people think. When you make your decisions based on other people’s opinions, two things tend to happen:

 a. You make a poor career choice: There are too many people out there who studied for a degree they regret or even spent their lives pursuing a career they regret. Whether you’re seeking parental approval or pursuing pay and prestige over passion, making a poor career choice is a decision that you will live with you forever.

 b. You fail to uphold your morals: When you get too caught up in what your boss thinks of you, how much money you think your spouse needs to be happy, or how bad you will look if you fail, you are at high risk of violating your own morals. Your intense desire to make yourself look good compromises your ability to stay true to yourself and, ultimately, to feel good.

The best way to avoid falling prey to the opinions of others is to realize that other people’s opinions are just that—opinions. Regardless of how great or terrible they think you are, that’s only their opinion. Your true self-worth comes from within. Oscar Wilde sums this fact up by saying “Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinion, their life mimicry, their passions a quotation”

2.You exist when you chase the idea of “I will be happy when…”  I will be happy when I have a car. I will be happy when I have the best of clothes. I will be happy when I get married… the list is endless.

What if instead you choose to be happy right now!  While you do your best to go higher and get better, then you will be living. Setting aside our world problems and pettiness. If you are reading this you are educated, you have electricity and data bundle in a smart phone and you live in a house. Something a lot of people cannot boast of and only see on TV. Life may bump and bruise us, the government and the economy may be messy and things may not always go as planned. But the good news is you are “ALIVE” and because you are alive, everything is possible. Dalai Lama said “We can never find peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves” Be happy now; Not because “The Secret” says so; but because we can choose to appreciate what is in our lives instead of  being angry or regretful about what we lack. It’s a small, significant shift in perspective. It’s easier to look at what’s wrong or missing in our lives and believe that is the big picture, but it isn’t. We can choose to let the beautiful parts set the tone.

In conclusion therefore; living is being original. It is refusing to play to the gallery. Living is not merely doing great things, but also doing small things with great love. Living is; knowing there is nowhere you can be that isn’t where you are meant to be. No wonder Marcus Aurelius said “the object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane”.  

 The question is are you Living or just Existing?

Written By: Ithenumah Gideon